Save money and make a difference by GOING PURPLE
Save money and make a difference by GOING PURPLE
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Wee stoor and sleekit horrible beastie
That lurks in yer belly after a feastie
Just as you sit down among your kin
Herald’s the beginning of an awful din
That Vindaloo with mushy peas
Starts off just like a gentle breeze
Spot the puddin’ with a big red face
Whose arse is puffin’ all over the place
Hold your bum tight to the chair
Just try and stop the sqeakin’ air
Shift yourself from cheek to cheek
And, pray to God, it doesn’t leek
Beware attempts to try and stifle
A projectile shootin’ from your rifle
And, no matter what you try to say
Everybody else, is going to pay
When all your efforts go asunder
And out it comes, that clap of thunder
As it ricochets about the room
Shout, “Mighty me! A sonic boom!”
Go find yourself an empty booth
To tantalize the awful truth
Your thoughts are filled with dread
In case you touch the Turtle’s head
On to the throne you better scurry
To check collateral damage of the curry
Rest assured if it fairly reeks
There’s every chance, you’ve shit yer breeks
If everybody around is chokin’
And one or two are nearly boakin’
Point at the wee man in the room
And be the voice that seals his doom
Shout with yer best accusing stare.
“You’re no welcome.” And point, “It’s him. That Bar Steward over there! Ah canni eat another bite, Your pure disgusting’, YOU SMELL LIKE SHITE!”
As the mob’s confusion starts to shout
Take this cue and f**k off out
You might feel guilty for a while
But soon enough you’ll raise a smile
It’s a clever man who’ll let things be
Who’s brave and lets his wind gan free
Never bother or take to heart
Those who’d fuss over one wee fart
So let us pray that come what may
And come it will for all that
The man of independent mind
He looks and laughs at all that
For all that and all that
We’re all the same an all that
That man to man the world over
A fart’s a fart for all that
Inspired and adapted from
To a Mouse and also
A Man’s a Man for all that
By Robert Burns
© jo3m 2022
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There was a time when my wee Maw was a teenage inspiration. They didn’t have the internet but at least they had a nation. If you
had no jam left for your piece, there was milk, re-in-carnation. Daily news, different views, hard work, and dedication. If you had no jam left for your piece, there was milk, re-in-carnation.
Clean face, clean hands her smile demands.
Have you combed your hair? You’re better than that, far better than those, expensive clothes they wear. I’d make the fire, sweep the stairs, make sure I’m home for tea. I’d shine my shoes and stand up straight, so she’d think well of me.
No mobile phones, no Lg just BT, no SKY demand or catch up and no lottery. Who’s on the booze, we’re looking for the clues. Fish and chips on a Friday-night, Saturday, TV dreams did we win or lose? A holiday of a lifetime chance, to win a world cruise.
Morecambe and Wise. The lows, the highs.
Pot Black, the 'Rugby'. King Charles? And the beautiful game. Pele RIP young man your legacy will remain. Sure, life never stays the same.
Now when I weep, the comforts that I keep, memories of my wee Maw, the things she saw, a leather ba’, respect the law, comforts me to sleep.
Family and Friends when it all ends is surely why, People make our Nation. I’m in awe ‘cause my wee Maw is still, my teenage inspiration...
R2 & jo3m with Jean RMAS 1989
"You’re down and out they scream and shout
Three Ghosts, where?
There, standing in your way
Unholy trio bonded, bound
You must prepare
Prepare your mind
To clear these demons out."
"Closer relations you may not find
Un-merry ghastly band
You can be sure, amongst the grind,
Where one is found, the others close at hand
A philosophy to cure your ills
The kind that kills these ghouls
You must prepare, prepare your mind."
"This quest, is not for fools
Know thy enemy and know thy-self
Clear these demons out
Their names you know,
You’ve heard before
Indecision, fear and doubt….”
(Thomas Iggs)
Brexit was the withdrawal of the United Kingdom from the European Union at 23:00 GMT on 31 January 2020. The United Kingdom is the only sovereign country ever to have left the European Union.
Therefore, it was surprising when Germany announced at the Brussels Summit that English will now be adopted as the language of Europe. It was however conceded that the English spelling needed updating.
A five-year phase-in for what will be known as ‘Euro-English’ was agreed. In year one ‘s’ will be used instead of the soft ‘c’and the hard ‘c’ will be replased with ‘k’. To stop any future konfusion, the ‘c’ keys will be removed from all komputer keyboards.
In year two, ‘ph’ will be replased ‘f ’, which will simplify words like ‘fotograf’. In year three more komplikated steps will be introdused. For example, the removal of double letters and also silent ‘e’s. Akurat speling of the languag wil now be posibl.
By the forth yar, ‘th’ wil be replasd with ‘z’ and ‘w’ wil be replasd wiz ‘v’. During ze fifz yar, ze unesesary ‘o’ vil be dropd from vords kontaning ‘ou’. Obviusly similar shanges vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinashuns of leters.
Und zo, after ze fifz yar, ve vil hav a sensibl speling system. Eventuly by zis tim evrivun vil find it ezi to komunikat viz esh ozer und zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis.
As time rolls bye, we often lose sight and worry. For the things we didn’t do but should have, for those things we did but shouldn’t have... I’m Sorry...
For the letters you didn’t get, the phone calls I didn’t make. The words I didn’t say, 'cause I thought I was in a hurry! What can I say now, except, I’m Sorry...
Thanks for all your kindness, all the love you gave to me. Those special pictured moments
you took the time, to send, for me.
For showing me, I mattered. For telling me you care. For helping me feel wanted, for always being there. What can I say now, except, Thank you...
You’re such a special person, you achieved so very much. Sixty seconds full of distance run and still you kept in touch. Kipling would have been so impressed how you filled that unforgiving minute. I am blessed, my life's a better place, because you took part in it!
"We are not now that strength which in old days moved earth and heaven. That which we are, we are. One equal temper of heroic hearts, made weak by time and fate, but strong in will. To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield..."
Lord Alfred Tennyson
Concept Art by jo3m ©2023
I’m not going to lie, I’d much rather die
I can no longer cry, I can no longer linger… Hard Work. Hard work, work.
I’ve had a bad day, I work for shit pay
No more, words left to say. No more...
Hard work. Hard work, work.
I felt a disgrace, your hand slapped my face
it’s been such a waste, it’s been...
Hard work. Hard work work.
Although love can be tough, there is never enough, life is the long run. It’s not done, till it’s all done.
I’ll never give you up, never take my love to town. Never ever run around or desert you.
No tears left to cry, never told you one lie. I know, I said goodbye, not to hurt you.
Loving you, is all, I ever want to do. I’m sorry but it’s true.You are Hard work.
Hard work, work.
I’m not going to lie, I’d much rather fly
I no longer cry, I know what I want, not without you.
Hard Work, Hard Work work. I won’t give you up, ‘cause your hard work. Hard Work. Hard work, work. Hard work. Hard work work.
jo3m ©2023
To a SPOUSE was inspired by the first song performed by the BLUES IRREGULARS of their second set at THE BLACK HORSE Braunstone GATE. Leicester. Friday 31st March 2023. If you want to check out these wonderful RHYTHM and BLUES musicians click below to go to their 'Facebook'